The Trials and Tribulations of Being Pale

I am pale. No news there. I am very pale. But the thing is, I am not pale on purpose. Nor am I pale to spite anyone, though I've gone to greater lengths just to get revenge. But people do not seem to realize this.

Just yesterday a man felt the need to come up and tell me to get a tan. I told him I'd get a tan when he got manners and put on a shirt. Probably was not a smart move on my part. Coincidentally, if I am found dead anytime soon, it was likely the Latin Kings. But really, I get this a lot. My coworker told me I had to tan my legs. An acquaintance that  works at a strip club called me to try to get me to come get a full body spray tan with a bunch of strippers, there was some group deal. The only thing tempting about that is the idea that I could then truthfully say I got a spray tan with a group of strippers.

Once I even had a man lean out of his car and yell at me, "Go out in the sun sometime!" The flaw in his suggestion was that I was already standing outside in the sun.

I understand the current beauty standard is all about being tan. But you know what? It's also about being skinny and tall with long straight hair. None if these things will ever describe me, so why bother trying to reach an unattainable goal that I don't even want to look like? You don't think I am hot without a tan? That's fine because I am not interested in you and don't care about your opinion of me.

Natural tan does not happen on me. My skin is fair, it burns easily. The burn fades into a nice light olive-gold tan. The lovely tan then peels off into paleness. Yep, my tan peels off. Not even sure how this happens, but I've never had a tan line that lasted more than a month.

I suppose there is fake tanning, but really, dying your skin? Seriously? People used to tint their skin bluish to look more fair. And some people bleach their skin. Not saying lighter skin is better, but why not just let your natural skin color show instead of dying your skin or toasting it as much as possible? Is it really that important to fit in? I am fine with standing out if it allows me to stay healthy and save effort. You tan your skin and get tattoos, I stay pale. Let me be and respect my choice.